A misnomer. I do not consider myself the new Christ, I consider myself Scott. I believe that I have been reincarnated in many forms on this planet, and others... as well. Too many to remember. Eternity is timeless. No one hurries.
I believe many things, and have preached of living the Golden Rule, learning from animals, and many other topics that seemed to take off. I had no idea at the time I was part of Operation Bluebeam, being groomed as a tactic to create a one world religion, leading to a one world government. A plan long in the making, without my knowledge, for which I had been groomed almost since birth. Certainly they had this plan going when I was five, and they cut scars in my back and gave me a year of radiation, making many believe I started to grow wings. I always dreamt of flying as a kid, then lost my ability to walk a bit... came back. Not due to the radiation or surgery... so, what happened can be taken either way.
I know my story will be read by sceptics and believers and once believers now haters and to all of you I say there is a place in these words for your interest, as well. I am not trying to convert anyone to anything, quite the opposite. I do not like to be led, and I do not like to lead. I live by a golden rule and that says I will treat others this way, not trying to lead them or follow them. I follow TRUTH and I have seen some bloody ones.
I was offered a radio show and to have all of my short stories made into movies out of the blue, going from being an obscure blogger with a lot of readers, to some kind of star that Hollywood sat up and noticed over night. They had been watching me and reading my stuff for a long time, much to my surprise, and working with various groups of operation mockingbird, to assure everything the American public believes is lie, as much as is possible. I was given the impression I was in charge and then I was not... very long top secret story.
This blog is not about that. This blog is about going where angels, and even near Gods, fear to go... into our own past. Especially mine, which is best kept at bay, or otherwise sunny days turn blood tinged, dripping drops of gleaming crimson into black poolings... Many die in this story. They are listed as missing or... I will tell of them because they must not be forgotten. They are the seeds of a revolution in ethics that I will not allow to be forgotten... will nurture until they flower again, whether just on their graves, on in fields, or all across the world.
My life in Chicago was carefully controlled, cameras everywhere, discreet security, or overt, wherever I went. Christ was back and some people were going crazy. My comedy stories and a novel I wrote before realizing I was going to be taken as anything more than a writer with good politics, were being taken as gospel, and a road map to revolution.
They awaited my orders as I heard the reports on tv of the madness fomented around the world concerning me, how my every word was being parceled, and making myself understood was more important than anything had ever been in my life.
To see if it was true, I wrote COME TO ME on my blog, in the first couple days of knowing I am what you would call the Christ. All the roads into Chicago were reported on the news as backed up, and I told them to go home, that we would communicate on the computer, to keep the public order. I was afraid for the first time of the power I had been given.
Unfortunately for all involved the power people thought I had was being manipulated from behind the curtain, and I was part of a plan, first designed by my grandfather, who died when I was four. These things go way back and they put generations of planning into them. Their ingenuity astounded me over and over. As did the brilliance of some of those who felt they were following a new Christ, and those who used my name merely for profit. Or prophet -- to gain a following.
When I hear of what people went thru because of something I write, that writing becomes dead to me, dangerous words written in the heat of the moment, the rage of being filmed all the time and mocked, in a torturous game I did not understand.
They set webcams up around my apartment and at least bugs in all the rooms, including cameras in my bathroom. The sickness these people have, and their juvenile means of trying to humiliate me worked quite well. I was sickened when people reacted to something I did meant to make the spies leave me alone, that was placed in another context, due to people thinking my having no room for my clothes cabinet in my bedroom, and having to place it in the hall, meant I was becoming a male stripper for my webcam. God, the humiliation alone kills me when I think of these things. I talked to the bugs as an adversary... whether they were friend or foe was a puzzle to me.
People marveled at my ignorance in the end, and
when a large group of cult members were killed and I was blamed for something I DID NOT EVEN KNOW ABOUT. Knights they called themselves and knights they may be, I have no idea. They kept the cults from me mostly by my own disbelief in the them... my idea that I must not ever forget the media had turned on me, and confused me, lied to me, etc.. I could believe nothing. Now that all of this is a story I can tell, obviously there is a beginning, a middle, and an end. Though the end is like those old horror stories, that always showed a question mark after THE END. I know that my take on religion is why I am here, while others have thought I was here to fight, which I did at times.
I was involved in very bloody conflicts, ordered strikes on enemies and .... the CIA and other intelligence organizations are very good at brain washing, and after offering me the radio job and to make all my short stories into movies, they put me on some kind of speed, I could not control this feeling of hyper energy, which is not like me at all. I was too excited. This lead to a seizure of some sort, just after I had the realization that the CIA was watching me. They were, too. Anyways, three days later, during which my wife was not allowed to visit, I had been classically brainwashed, showed all the signs, which you can look up on line. The most baffling one I remember is that you do not think you are someone else, you just know you are not the person that you thought you were. I looked around for different people I could be... asked for a Mormon bible, after turning down a Catholic one, thinking if I was Christ, and the Mormons said he was coming to the states, they might have the scoop on this.... The catholics wanted to throw me out of the hospital that day, though when my wife and best friend came in and found me totally out of it, with all these notes written on my arm, saying the tv had been talking to me.... though I could remember nothing of the three days of brain washing afterwards. I was taken to another hospital, where very bizarre things happened.
I had been in a pscyh hospital many years before when I drank, though that was decades ago... and this was nothing like that had been. They had people there, a hot black girl, trying to warn me cameras would be watching me everywhere. They could not come out and talk about the mission, but they tried to tell me what they could. It was very weird. The head nurse, as I was leaving, said she was very honored to meet me. I was sent home. The world went nuts thinking the Christ was back... and I watched it and had no idea what to do. Others in the background, the secret societies and families and plain out criminals tried to manipulate the scene.
I loved everyone for a few days. I really did. Even said something nice about Tom Cruise after dissing him for years... I was in touch with the love of God and man and this was a wonderful feeling I never wanted to lose... then I was treated like shit, pulled out a sword, and started fighting...
I thought they drew first blood by keeping me ignorant of what was happening around me, refusing me counsel, not quite realizing a revolution was happening as well. Without the brainwashing scrambling my head I would have been a very effective leader of a revolution, and they knew this... they wanted my powers on their side, my pedigree.
You who watched me and loved me or liked me or whatever... those who made excuses for my most terrible behavior... who saw heart behind this which you believed could love all... and felt love... and was attracted by this love... from there we disagreed too much on too many things you had made life and death, when my live and let live philosophy no longer worked, became kill or be killed or worse yet, imprisoned for a life of torture, as I was threatened with at one point. I understand that one was against someone I am not... someone I would hate if told about. 4
I used to joke about having a cult, and one of my short stories was about a black elvis impersonator who accidently became the head of a cult, who he took in just to take care of them. He did not like that they were a cult, and eventually told them they did not need a leader. They ignored him and found another who got them to drink poisoned cool aide in the end. He read about it many years later, after half forgotten them.... in the story, I mean. A lot of my short stories came true in a way because they were taken as scripture. No, Jesus can make a joke, too... and the violence I should have explained was a comment on the stupid prevalence of violence in entertainment, never meant to be tried at home. SAME with a lot of the things I SAID on that webcam.
The webcam became the way the cult watched me, and they were told to take cues from what I did, not what I said... because early on I had written I DO NOT EVEN NEED TO TALK TO MY ARMY because I did not have one at the time, I thought, though the people around me most certainly did. That again was in the first few days, and I changed my mind over the years, wishing like hell they would talk to me, instead of give me hints.
To make this story even more Bizarre, I come from a family that is racist, evidently, in the group of families that truly run the USA and for what I know the world, and the city I live in, Chicago, is in the secret world, the Blacks Realm. And, they are holding me hostage. This was because of a race war I know nothing about, though for all I know it was raging at least seventy years ago, when my grandfather was alive, because blacks did not play so big into his plan, unless they were the cream of the Chicken, exceptional people who just happen to be black, the type that act white or amusingly black, etc... the rest were to be done away with. I knew none of this, just never left Chicago because I am in chronic pain and travel hurts too much for me to contemplate it.
I remember hearing many things early on referring to me that I did not understand and thus did not respond to... I heard a man died in the Denver courthouse, after going in all dressed, and saying THE EMPORER WANTS COLORADO after I watched a movie, Jeremiah Johnson, and talked of how I had felt like that, a man alone fighting everything that came at him, his good life destroyed... I would go back in time and say NO, I AM NOT AN EMPORER, that is not why I am here. They learned this later, after God, the true architect of what happened, gathered people in Colorado.... they scared some, SOUTH PARK, a show that initially told my story, as operation BLUEBEAM required them to do. The US was actually fighting off a foe that had defeated them, and I was their front man, and did not know or I would have acted entirely differently. If I had known that a poem saying I forgave the president and his father, Bush, though thought his brother was disgraced -- I meant for stealing votes, and should not be re-elected, the other two never would be again. I meant him no physical harm. Never would I have thought that my words could harm people.
During all of this time, the people who followed me, and there were many, living mostly double lives... you would never find out about them unless they tried to recruit you, and if you refused you would never be heard from again. These are very deadly people who have to keep secrets to stay alive, cell after cell of them for various different groups... it is amazing. And terrifying. And required. I do not envy those who have endured this to try to fight in the forever war, for reasons basically of survival. I did not create them, I am pretty sure, though I certainly added to their numbers. I know of the cult from what I was told, and the tiny bit I experienced.
I was given coded messages about them that they thought I understood. I wrote that we should take over a tv station and they laughed because they already had... I was surprised as hell when I learned there were armies out fighting, taking my book about revolution as orders.... I should not have been, I was, and I did not take the proper action. I should have ordered them to change the usa right then and there, unfortunately a race war got in the way. The oligarchy planted a bomb that went off and scattered my army. Race is not a good way to judge a human at all. Pure myth to think so.
I was doing a comedic radio where I repeated a very stupid, unfunny joke, 'Kill yourself and others, just not in that order..." An absurdity I yelled one night at the end of one of our crazy, improve comedy shows, in the character I played, Johnny Pain. From this small beginning, women jumped out of buildings as if I had given a commandment. I remember the day I heard a woman had broken into a new skyscraper and went to the fortieth floor -- a number associated with me, forty days in the desert and forty years and... regardless, she brought with her the tools to break through the window, and jumped. By then I knew the local news station was broadcasting everything related to me, though never giving the context. In horror I got out of my chair and said to Mary Ann, "Oh, God, that can't have anything to do with me, can it?" I think I knew it had, as I knew other things Ii told myself were not true, were... so I did not have to deal with them. This statement brought out a entire group who were willing to give their lives to this cult. I also remember, when the truth finally came out and I could communicate, from afar, over video link ups, with some of the acolytes, I said that I would never want them to kill themselves..... and they had a woman come on and say HE WANTS US ALIVE. I want death to go away personally, but some people can only be physically stopped.
In the beginning, I lived across a small park from Lake Michigan, an ideal scene in the summer. A group of nuns had come there to view the Christ and I nodded at them and smiled. Later I told them to let all the different groups visit me if they wanted, to allow people who could not afford it to me to come in, etc.... I was their Christ, at times, though at others I sure as hell felt like I was just someone who was human and cornered and had to fight my way out against ALMOST impossible odds...
I told them that Mary Ann was not anyone special and should not be worshipped. The next day they showed me some plaque about her destroyed. Then they showed me the church of the Christ, with black and white bricks, like the mason sign or for racial togetherness or what... and I said I did not want to be worshipped. I always told them to worship God alone.
They were filming me, the first weeks home from the hospital, and I was very ill, which they more than likely caused, and they kept calling me an angel for reasons I do not know, showing a commercial of a fat guy dressed all rich laying in a pile of dough making angel wings. I kept telling them that I was not an angel, hated the idea deep in my soul of being an angel, and just then I was trusting my gut, coming to grips with the idea that I was not Scott Ridgway... or so I thought. Just not the Scott Ridgway who existed before the brainwashing, surely.
Later I would be trying to defend gays and get people to leave them alone by saying gays are angels. Another comment taken way too seriously by me. This is why when I heard what really happened I realized I was not in control at all because I would never have led people to do these things, I kept waking up going OH, GOD... they made fun of this on Supernatural, with a character Keven, a Chinese exchange student, prophet, who knew nothin of the supernatural world. He represented me on their show for a bit, as did various characters, because we worked closely together, though this was after the interrogation into my followers being mass murdered proved I was not only innocent, I had no idea about the real world....
I learned of the people following me by a commercial mocking them. I had written and preached a lot about my dog teaching me more than any human. And once came across a scrap of paper from a book, which I guess mary ann planted in our apartment, that said WE ASKED A HOLY MAN HOW TO LIVE OUR LIVES AND HE SAID GET A DOG. It was better written than this, sweet. But in the commercial, they showed people dressed in Purple, for Royalty, Christ, holding up a dog and trying to get people to take the cable company that was selling my image, without my knowledge, and probably not at their own bequest. I do not blame them for what is in the past... The people on the commercial looked like zombies. I was not hearing the good they had done if any or anything about them except that they existed. At the time I was also learning about all these murders and thinking the war sounded like crime. I basically blamed everyone for what they did, not realizing that in war, people are forgiven afterwards for went they did, et... and as a follower of the belief that everyone is forgiven by God, I try to bring as much as it is in heaven let it be on earth to the planet as I can.
My other last contact with my acolytes came the day I saw a camera shot making fun of me that showed me getting dressed in a woman's housecoat which I was wearing because I was alone writing so what the fuck.... green it was. Then it snapped... this sordid feeling that this is what was happening all this time, they thought I wanted them to watch some web show... an acolyte was communicating with me directly at this point, from the side I had been on, which was winning no doubt about it, He was holding up a young girl of around three saying FUCK. I had cursed in my work and wrote about how intelligent people seemed to curse more. This show, and Saturday night, both came to mind when I wrote of this. I had written in my blog that people should burn me, and do their worst, as I would. I learned so much more from being criticized than I learned from my so called friends, and in the end the epiphany that I was not just being spied on by spies and the media, but more people than I cant think of without shriveling away into nothing. I them wrote about modern family and snl critically, but it was displace anger. The skits they did about me were not funny or religious or anything.... they were just showing things in my life in the worst light, I guess. Later in the week a very powerful man would demand they all be killed, and protesters were outside NBC in mass. They must have been my followers. I explained then what I just did, and certainly did not want them hurt in any way. I had hurt them enough... I was snide and mean and....
EVERYONE SEEMED LIKE THE ENEMY AND THOSE WHO SEEMED LIKE MY FRIENDS WERE THE LAST PEOPLE IN THE WORLD I THOUGHT WOULD HELP ME... BECAUSE I WAS PART OF THEIR PLAN, THOUGH, NOT TO HELP ME AS A PERSON.
All of that TV business has settled down to a degree, though there are still tv shows that occasionally hint back at the media war that went on when I found out how they were portraying me, as a mass murder, cannibal, whatever. I do not know if you saw the awards show where jimmy kimmel was sitting in a toilet, with a joker face, saying I WANT A NEW FACE and all these different women punched him until he had a new face, then told, GO OUT THERE AND KILL THEM/. I became ub the end superman in their codes, leading to the superman movie where he dies. Well their use of me as superman is over, because I oppose the oligarchy that is running this world. REVOLUTION AND RELIGION are the same thing. Always you are trying to bring the sanity of common sense, and the golden rule, to the kings and queens, no matter what the excessively wealthy are calling themselves these days.
I wrote once get a six pack and a semi and you have weapon in a revolution, or something to that effect, leading to our first battles, where we lost. People always confuse winning a battle with me with winning the war. A stupid mistake that has been made three times with me. I cannot die until my mission is finished. Like in the show Departed, which has some elements of what happened to me.. the Jesus character is a cop, and I was at first and perhaps still am considered on the side of the cops, I do not know... I certainly owe them and I also despise some things they did. This is not about the past though, what I am writing, but the future.
Let me end this first passage by saying I love you for loving me even if it was a season of knives for you, as a new Yorker poet once wrote.
I am sorry for the mistakes I made. I apologize for offending you. There is no excuse for some of my behavior, only redemption by not repeating such foolishness. In this blog I will try to predominantly speak to you who followed me, to offer anything I can to help your healing, if that is possible, or at the very least give you my perspective.
I in the end lost the gays and Mexicans as allies because of them thinking I was a stripper and then telling one side I would not go along with certain things... part of it was writing about snl and this other show just after the webcam was understood by me, and my God was I mad... I had been depressed for months after this... after the masturbation filming and everyone seeing that and it becoming a much bigger deal than I could have imagined, I MEAND THEY WERE FILMING IN MY BATHROOM AND BEDROOM AND KITCHEN IT WAS NOT LIKE YOU HAD NOT SEEN THIS BEFORE BUT THIS TIME... YOU REACT. I could not understand or trust any of you at all. What happened after this was a blood bath, as a certain side turned against me, and began killing others.
The enemies I had made over the years all came to attack me then, but I had another surprise or two for them up my sleeve, and made a comeback with the help of a lot of people. I would never have done what they accused me of, I am not an exhibition in the least, a man who has seldom ever done this around lovers except when needed... filmed like they did. I took it as more trying to break me, which actually makes me stronger, like steel.
When I heard of the killing and the general mayhem around me they told me YOKO ONO IS LONG GONE... She had tried to welcome me, came to Wrigley field to do it, and a crowd gathered, and then a spy, planted in my life years before, convinced me not to. I trusted him. I no longer trust anyone except God, and I do not expect to understand why he does what he does.
In 07 when the brainwashing was fresh and the idea God existed new to me, let alone my having some connection in the mix, I had three visions, one of the world ending... and one of something that happened... another of seeing the face of God, not at all like a human... they were filming me. Some may have thought this an act, but it was not. A radio station I always played and had communicated me or commented on me various times, started playing the dream police... I did not know if they thought that my dreams were being controlled or not. I did not know what to do with the visions, nothing like that has ever happened before or since. I did though do a lot of speculating, and some excuse making, that seemed to me the best vision I could come up with at the time, and now seem like imaginings given too much weight.... I was half mad, and kept asking to be taken to a cave, or get help in becoming this thing. I was ignored because I had been used in politics as well as religion. When I tried to retire into religion, I was called back into the fight, told they could not win without my help, so I rose to the occasion, roaring and deadly.
I want to love all of you for loving me. When they kept asking me WHO I SHOULD FORGIVE, and naming horrible things like a woman who had killed her husband and child to join my army and things like this... I lay on the couch, my eyes covered, high on pot and pain pills but there was not enough to stop that pain, hearing of these murders and saying FORGIVE THEM... telling myself this was the end of a war. I think. I felt so horrible about all the death my words had been involved in that I could not blame them, as I had at first when I had no context for their actions.
I have been through a lot in the last few years, obviously.... in 07 I was a stoner writer living in Chicago writing comedy, then...... 'things just got weird,' as my brother Dave once responded to my mother, when he came home very late, and very drunk.
Now you have seen almost everything ever told me about the cult. There was also seth green hating me for what my allies did to Jews, and had Claymation Christ on a cross, as someone tried to jam it into a grave, and saying I AM GLAD YOU ARE IN PAIN. They are located in Colorado, as well, and all these shows were working with me... I somehow still thought me human and uncursed enough to maybe get a job writing Claymation for them... what was done by others, whom I became associated with, had done. I really thought there would be an after intelligence... there is not.
For full disclosure, because everything in this blog is true, though I leave out names, etc... and my knowledge is limited, you will find out here a bit of what I wish to convey to these people, to whom I owe so much.
I
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