The other night I was angry at tv and movie people and it was so stupid, blaming artists caught up in this bullshit of a world. I certainly do not wish any of them any harm, and as M. pointed out some are forced to do this, surely.
I have to stop doing that. I do not know what they went thru, but merely that they air anything about it is good, in a way. Confirms the story, however ludicrous the presentation, and obvious the propaganda. First they bring out Bob Zimmerman to go after me, with songs he stole or were written for him... propped up the old puppet and used him to blame me for something I was hearing about for the first time.. Wins the prize for literature. They try to make me the Joker, to the point my Communist background, required they change the traditional purple and green that the JOKER ALWAYS WORE FOR YELLOW AND RED, the colors of communism, socialists, etc.... and me. Then they chose a song associated with a pedophile, a chare that I am too sick of to respond to... Never even been around children, not exactly the kind of guy who fits the profile, but they try, based on a criticism I made about Operation Phoenix, where I ACTUALLY WAY PLAYED DOWN what actually happened.
I guess there was some kind of break down in California, where my influence was strong evidently among too many who abused power. My words unwittingly made people believe either they were angels, or others were angels. I was trying to shock people into losing their homophobia. AND OTHER PHOBIAS. As many as my preaching could reach.... When I discovered slavery and other abuses were done in my name, I fought them, not even knowing how they happened. By keeping me in the dark, the solutions I had to offer meant nothing.... none of my words, before a certain point inn my growing knowledge, mean much to me now. I read waking up jesus and cannot believe I wrote those words.
I NOW have to contend with no longer caring that by playing the Joker, they would make the movie number one in the world, and win him all kinds of rewards; not because the movie is well acted or not, the prize is meant to reward him for playing the role meant to play on me. I called myself Arthur at times... The tv SHOW Gotham went even further with their comparison. I am not sure why they do this, though Heath Ledger's Joker mimicking my burning all this blood money in Chicago, after … a revolt and probably theft and... God knows where, but I felt an instant revulsion against taking that money, from deep in my soul, and this being a mere few months after the brainwashing inserted or woke up the voice of Jesus inside of me. PERSONALITY ADJUSTED FOR A MISSION, the CIA eyes only files read.
Ledger I am sorry he died.... Kubrick said to stay away from power, that it was dangerous. I have certainly found this to be true, and being a power, I have and am to some they believe, dangerous. I would NEVER have had any performer or most anyone dead. I DID not see the battles in the underground. I did not go over a person' days and preaching everyday, or watch... me. I did not go underground, I did not get my town attacked by killers, I did not see my children walking toward me with a gun, or felt the horror of the child afterwards. I cannot begin to know what these things were like. I can only tell you that this movement began because there is a great need, and will continue, however humbly, as long as I can push for my PEACEFUL SOLUTION TO THE WEALTH INEQUITY AND SANE CLIMATE CHANGE RESPONSES. I will have other issues I care about as well, though until the attempt is made to elevate all people, instead of just a few, we must do all we can to change this country.
Back to the stupid marvel thing..
I want the Joker character defeated. On Gotham the last show the joker come out of ten year period of losing his mind sort of, and forgot his name.... when asked, he first said, JOSEPH my first code name, then JEREMIAH, name from a movie I watched over and over making some think I wanted to set up my life in the mountains of Colorado... a gunmen, dressed in black, went into the state capital there in 07 or 8, fired a machine gun, announced, THE GOD EMPEROR WANTS COLORADO, making national news, google it... I did not...
After this the Joker on Gotham then used another code name of mine, Jack... which I was called actually in the beginning, when people liked me the most, and was frequently used for me... then, THE JOKER SAYS, MAYBE HIS NAME IS JOHN? My actual name... that I think is the last one. To those who know my story, this is a very clear smear against me. I get it. What people were put thru, what they went thru doing these things, is beyond my imagination -- or more truthfully, I do not want to remember.
I do not want, the FOX - RIGHT WING VERSION of batman, or the CIA's dream machine, music or movie wise, to matter much to anyone. Free speech. Once in Colorado, a Batman film was shot up, because of the way I was betrayed I fear, which I realized later, after learning my comedy about booby trapping my house and all these things had been taken to heart by this person. I do not know if some group messed with his mind and aimed him at theater, or he was a lone wolf. I would NEVER approve of such tactics, or non-tactics.
I would never order anyone to do anything I would not do. This includes suicide, killing people in race wars, worshipping another person, turning over your free will to anyone. I wrote against this at times, though my work was ignored. I COULD not be as dum as I looked I suppose you were told... giving orders with this and that. No, I was misinformed, or barely informed, at best... then asked impossible questions where the only answer that made any sense to me was sparing lives. I had no idea this would lead to soldiers, whom NO ONE bothered to tell me cared what I did, other than knowing I support them as individuals, every one... my heart goes out to everyone in war. No winners, only victims.
I am left having to fill in the blanks with fucking dr who episodes... I guess they were with me at some point. I was an ass about the queen, and regretted it caused problems, having no idea of the context of my actions... I WAS ASKED should we bomb... told the reason was Gold. I had no idea what to say. The deep rooted reasons to possibly attack London that India and Ireland and some Scots felt. I was asked this about ships. Told there was an invasion in florida. Nothing more unti years later when I am accused of allowing soldiers to be slaughtered, the saying oh England is alright.... Again, you kept me hidden from myself, as seemingly obscured as possible, and when I asked for contact, I was ignored.
I GUESS I should touch on Race. I was accused of leaving this out when I first began to write this story,, in 12, on a computer the CIA or whoever had set up a camera so what I wrote could be seen I real time.... I was stunned later when they showed me all the angle they saw me from. Those who thought my life was a show …. lord, if I had known -- the thought I have over and over. I am or was a hostage of the blacks. This started before I knew about a race war. I did not know that the folk I represented were racists. I was not supposed to leave the city, but I did not notice for years because I did not have any money or urge to leave Chicago.... I was just going to a town in Ohio, and they did everything to make it not... my social security check even came a week late, which was unheard of... etc.... when I got to Ohio, a sleepy Bowling Green street, had seven cop cars parked across from my buddies house. Later I learned I was in a Buffalo Jail, could roam around but not try to leave, or I might be shot, or really jailed. I HIS met a record producer from California who was dumped here, after having his dread locks ripped out by hand by the CIA as they fought us... then took all his possessions.
I first heard about the hostage thing, without knowing, when a black comedian, a woman, made a joke I knew was aimed at me, saying the black panthers had their boy..... I THOUGHT they meant that I believe in the same principles as the black panthers, but no.... a hostage. This was confirmed to me again and again. I could not believe it. The Race War had sickened me, especially all of the people trying to get me to join the 'white side, when I DO NOT believe sides should be chosen based on race, but a shared love of justice. This means addressing the issues of minorities and asylum seekers and WOMEN... When I came to believe my being held a hostage might stop some blood shed, I realized I would have went willingly, to save lives from either side...
Now late in the game I seem to have harmed my relationship with Mexico to the point of destruction, though if they were far right, like so many of the acolytes are described to me as,
CONTINUE RE-WRITE OF ENTRY FROM HERE.... sorry dear readers, but I will finish this up tom.
I have gotten over it finally am back to my normal postion, which given normal circumstances would mean time to calm down and mull it over.... I will always be react, that I never want to change about myself, though I also do not want to be taken wrong.
I have been accused of making long winded rationalizations, trying to change my opinions on things, when nothing inside of me has changed about how I feel about how the world should be ran. That does not mean I wish to use violence to impose that. I do not know what my opinion matters, but when I think of myself even imagining harming people it is merely a way of releasing stress... like hating hollywood for their mind fucking, when I get angry at the faces on the screen personally I am being as big a fool as people who think my characters represent me... even worse, because they do not write, merely are used by the powers that be.
Here is my present opinion on YOUR RACE WAR. I think it is a total distraction from the real problems in this country. The Black's deserve reparation's and this country can afford them, if we are at peace. This will not end prejudice, some will resent this, though presented with the history, the case has clearly been made, and our society will benefit from equality of income, and the same is true of women and men and everyone else. I do not want to dismantle the wealth of every multi-millionaire this has to be win win win win… to be realistic.
Something might be able to be done about the atmosphere if the war money was spent on research, and writing what wrongs we can. AT THE VERY least an honest world fund run by countries where everyone's vote is equal. We need a global commitment to confronting climate change with dignity that the citizens have in place, prepared to take over in the case of an emergency.
They branded me a pedophile over my criticizing the activity in a book and a stupid stoned out of mind out of context stupid ass comment... trying to say my worst sin was innocent but I still felt like shit about it…. stupid. I never talked about that... why then? What was put in my mind to trigger that shit? I hated pedophiles enough to lose my family over outing the one in my family... badly, but with a hatred that still surprised me after all those years...… what happened to people, can this be the beginning or is the continuation?
Amazing.... here I am, the guy who feels this warm loving Jesus in his sternum, when he pictures his vision of God.. how can I judge humans at all, knowing this all powerful being exists that we are immortal? I refuse to fight in a slaughter of the blacks, etc. I refuse to fight a race war, period, unless a few things happen. One, situation like last time when you told me about trains and I lost my mind over that shit.... two, anyone who starts shooting at me. I understand I am hated for many things, I get it...
My conscious is hardly clear. Densely packed. Screams emanating always.... but what you accuse me of mostly I had nothing to do with.
BUT WHEN I SAY really stupid shit like harm all these actors and actresses and rockers I am not at all serious, and I hope they do not all hate me, because I have no hate anymore for any of them.
I think of the possible war with Iran. The civilians there. Then as always the bits I learned about what happened here.
Also, let me add, my use of I AM this week was in response to the darkstar song by bowie which was about me... on facebook, where I write too much... is not meant to be a call to a new religion, it is just me throwing back in the face of that song
his saying I'LL TAKE YOU HOME... the worst of this is.... well, there is no quantifying such things, whatever I think about at the tine seems the worst... was people thinking I wanted them to kill themselves and others..... I said things that I never would have, had I known I was at a podium preaching.... I had no way of knowing when I wrote my comedy and my novel that they would be taken as scripture, though obviously I was trying to radicalize people, in my way.
But the book.... hurts. I pray this year brings Bernie Sanders to power.
During my intelligence work, and life, I guess . . . I came to be the accidental leader of a cult; acolytes they called themselves in the end. This is as much of that story as I can tell.
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