The truth is more interesting, and workable, than the psycho lies put into your heads. I have never joined a criminal organization in my life, always played a live and let live game with such forces... never seemed like my business.
If they wished to help in what I believed was my mission to help save what I can of this earth and the people and animals, and change our war-like culture, then I had no reason to think they were doing other. I took the associations as lies... when I found out what had become of my asking people to give... and I did not mean to me... I meant the world... then later talked about insurance and the anchor of my courage and determination and ability to just survive the onslaught of betrayal of almost anyone I thought of as a media ally.
You thought I betrayed you, when the ideals I wrote of in my writing were betrayed... my scriptures to the world, asking for harmony among races and religion, and justice for the oppressed, were taken as a politician's fake words to cover their corporate intent.
I have bowie singing Blackstar, and saying I am not a gangster, can't explain why, just go with me on this.... why would I have attacked them if I had not thought that stealing was wrong? I was ignorant of many possibilities, though at the time, the same with England and New York. I was not behind this piracy, or it would have been concentrated all on controlling the USA alone. I would have cleaned up my own back yard first.
I would never have led troops to slaughter. When Ferrell said that to me, the hatred obvious in voice, as it was in Bowie's song, I could understand wanting to have a straw dog, to lay all the sins of the world on, then let the winds blow the straw away. The insistence that I commit suicide as the great outcome of my battle, that I would go down with the bus..... how William shatner ended his series of spy commercials with the woman from big bang, a show I grew to despise for various reasons. Remember the commercial where he killed himself? I sure got that one. I know stars act out of the volition of others than themselves at time.
The hatred felt for me by many is a badge of courage, to others I am mournful and sorry and the situation is too beyond words for me to write much on the topic.... some tales can only be told in tears. To everyone I offer peace, I do not climb to any heights to be above anyone or force anyone to change. If it seems like I let the criminals off... then you have no clue what happened in the desert. Like many decisions made in haste and under the influence of the brainwashing/hatred at being watched for reasons I could not decipher. I hate most of all that I helped those who are presently in power. I hate most of all that Jews were harmed I had no clue there were real Nazi's in this world. I lived in the play world you create for those you wish to live out your lies. I hate most of all that people died rudderless because I thought you were acting out some master plan that I knew had to be in place for all these events to happen. Being told the world thinks you are Jesus after having the voice of Jesus fill you, and a sense of God.... I believed the return of Jesus would cause all people to repent, and the world to aright itself.
Perhaps that is what a God would do? I DO NOT know what I am anymore, so many wild tales have gone about and so many mystical things have happened that could not be staged. All I felt was anger at your hatred before, to a degree. There was certainly a part of me that thought you should have taken me out long before all those troubles could be started, but you knew better... so the truth would have been enough. I expressed my ignorance, sadly buried in the deceit I felt was necessary to psychologically battle my awesome foe. I would have taught a better way of living, but that could not be allowed. As soon as I began to understand these people existed, the followers, after many fictional hints and shows about this and I apreciate your mighty effort, though I do not understand the extent.... having to dress in certain ways, etc... I rebelled against all of this the moment you brought this to me.
NOW I find that I am much more than I could have ever imagined. My mark on history a bloody hand print. And more. A youth turning socialist, a socialist almost becoming president. This would have been unheard of without our movement. I did not know how to react when you asked me for military advice, not only was I too uninformed to offer a stalwart opinion, I use experts in these matters to make decisions, that I would then approve. The opposition played me. Though I still believe that we must learn to work together, the progressive left, if this country is to be saved from collapse. Starving, homeless mobs is where the tRump path leads... the wealthy living in castles above the fray. We need more than ever to be able to put aside our differences of thinking to achieve a common goal -- a future worth living, for as long as possible, into the next century.
At some point, perhaps when the air is almost unbreathable, or for security reasons unforeseen by my small view, the government and other key figures will move underground. They see themselves as the last best hope for humanity, and I was in the club for awhile, until they and I realized that we had sorely misjudged one another.
I do not know if such problems can be over come. The feelings of hatred for me will follow me always, this does not mean the ICON you hate is me. I am not a false icon, as much as I tried to warn people not to become them, only to have my words taken literally when I wrote that stars woke up to reality, and did not want to be worshipped as I AM. I did not wish to be worshipped, but many invested too much in the belief of the end of the world coming, or that my every words was gospel. Again, I hear myself yelling ONCE, I AM Jesus Christ and everything I do is sacred. I meant all the things that lead up to who I was and the very fact that I existed as Christ. I hate the thought of what you went thru watching me, with children present.... when I told you again and again this was nothing children should see.... because while I was certainly aware especially in the end of being watched all the time, I was intent just to live my life as normal as possible... this was my supposed revenge, fight, against the ones who put tv shows out about cults that would use my words, and I would think that is not true.... but shades of the were.
My conscious is clear on the matters that began with my being rendered temporarily insane and then trying to stop the damage. I thought stupidly that the gangsters were the only problem I thought the people who worked with me did so because we shared beliefs, not... whatever their reasons were, and I suppose there were many. I hate that you fought amongst yourself when I meant to choose a side between the uber rich and the masses. The inane orders you thought I gave are perplexing to me, and were of course a hell of a lot more so when I first learned of them... with time to think, I understand that we were divided first by race then by the lies told about me. I do not talk often of blood because I am proud of it... I write of it because my mind has an endless cemetery... I am not proud of anything done in war. Nothing to be proud of when you have failed at the wisest way of war, which is to win without fighting. I offered you win win win win… long ago. Now that I have discovered more and see a bit of how your world works, I cannot offer much more than what I did, letting the rich keep something like 50 million and using the rest to rebuild and save the world, if possible, and if not start projects that ARE ABOVE BOARD to deal with the GREENHOUSE EFFECT. We have had the five warmest years on records in this last decade, the warmest in recorded history.
This monster with a million faces must be confronted. I wrote of the God of Many masks, another concept they had to confront, showing superman, who I was associated with after saving this dam government for reasons God alone understands, but they could not let a left wing be a hero to society, so they put on a superman show with a God of Many Masks, who was discovered to be an alien and no longer worshipped. And then batman fought superman, who had been ordered to kill himself, a movie I could not bear watching. This militaristic superman leading the world to facism or whatever is so far from my reality that I did not even care to see it.
They first made me the Joker, heath ledger, working with the mob and burning the money -- a situation that mimicked my saying 'burn the money' which people had collected, which the Jesus in me took as a great metaphor. In the Batman ovie I am just sowing chaos. The last joker movie went so far as to give him the colors of socialisms red and yellow, rather than the always used purple and green. Then they use pedophiles song as he dances in triumph... theye made a pedophile, jailed, millions of dollars just to make their sick point that socialism needed to be associated with pedophilia, which they tried before due to something I wrote about child soldiers, trying to subtly talk about the rapes and life of a guerrilla leader of children... not a way to live. There were child soldiers used in these brutal wars, and the loss of their innocence is mourned, they are the ones with the most to lose, should the far left lose.
I do not believe in using the methods I was criticizing in my book. I do believe in the coming war, everyone who wishes to fight over a certain age should be allowed to, and the younger trained. I am not talking about Militia's.
There was a show which associated me with them, having a leader of a Militia say he was the hand of God.... BURN NOTICE, with sadly bruce campbell, who I have always liked.
I will never do you the dishonor of asking for your forgiveness... what has been done is unforgivable. I would not have become that monster without having my mind raped. I do not hate you for this, because everything that has brought me to my current epoch was required.
We are rising again, not the cultish aspects of our movement, but the revolutionary portion... and we will work with those who do not share our beliefs, which cannot be allowed to stop our mission objective. Redistributing the wealth of this world, so that power is spread out, instead of in a few hands.
During my intelligence work, and life, I guess . . . I came to be the accidental leader of a cult; acolytes they called themselves in the end. This is as much of that story as I can tell.
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