I use the word CULT but they called themselves my Acolytes.

I heard a bit about what their lives were like, studying the tapes of me perhaps, or learning the bible, some kind of classes at night...  people being punished in ways that I would never have wanted, that  I was then threatened with, causing the beast in me to want to kill every animal that intelligence had told me represented a different group.    I was taken as a cruel, vicious God breaking the world with an iron rod.   A comedy story I wrote before the Christ voice rose within me, had God coming back to earth and only taking mostly, penguins, the pope, a few cops and winos.  Turns out penguins are very much more advanced than humans, etc... ends with whining in all known languages, followed by humans trying to just go on, keep working, just keep a positive attitude.  The thought was the new Christ was giving signals to Catholics and Mexicans, after I said I followed in the footsteps of Ceaser Chavez.  I have a hard time thinking of how it must have been for people, to be reading the words of a God -- a man who grew wings, and they had proof, and leaders of governments around the world agreed, and miracles began to happen all around me, destruction.

My visions led people to think the end of the world was imminent, and I was half convinced myself after seeing the face of God, myself with endless flows of lava and lightening flowing from my back and chest, and my co worker being beaten up, which he was -- the proof my God sent along for his skeptical son who could not wrap his mind around the idea of what it meant to be a God, let alone why everyone was expecting him to lead the world?     I was unprepared to do this alone, asked for advisors, but Bush mistook me for an enemy, and my words were a mistake, thinking he was making a crown for himself, not me.... not that I would have accepted.  I would not however have harmed Jeb.   That was a comment on the stolen elections.  I was trying to be nice to all of you to keep the country from falling apart.

I wanted a revolution, but when I realize the kind of people involved, and what their objectives were, and that  I would have to work with at least some of them..  I was too stunned to work with people with ideas I had always hated.  Then I learned I am not in charge of your thoughts, if you want in this force just stay within military discipline and keep politics out of it, just winning a war against a genocidal oligarchy.   Afterwards we can vote as we will...  but we all have more in common than differences.  IF humans live long enough they will discover this.


I heard very little of the acolytes, though for awhile I was going to bed at nine thirty, and a gay actor on a show with Mexicans and gays, and whites, which were my initial allies, though I was flattered by this, I was too confused by the size of my audience and why people were fucking watching me, to work with you properly.   Perhaps that moment has passed, or you cannot make peace with the blacks... who as you know, I will help if you try to wipe them out.  Just like I would help you if they tried to wipe you out.   I meant it when I said I would live as a savior.   I would write live and die as a savior, but I am not sure what my death is going to be like.   I hope a savior of all the souls on this planet...  these are the kind of thoughts, and type of writing that have led so many in the past to see me as a spiritual creature, the new Christ, a reincarnating creature who has lead humans since consciousness toward the Golden Rule, the first step up for creatures from the savagery of biggest fish eats the other.

I will write in here what  I believe whether you care or not is up to you.



I must emphasize the God I saw is not me, at all....   I once was filled with a fire that sometimes made seem I was this being, and I felt it too, a glimpse perhaps into a limited bit of God's view...  but I have found God is very, very active.