The CHRIST WALKS... brought to you by billions of dollars, and over half a decade of planning... for OPERATION BLUEBEAM.

Unless you google operation bluebeam, my story will have less credibility...  the brainwashing came the night of a UFO siting at OHARE Airport, that wikapedia even talks about.   What the two have to do with each other I am not sure.  I was to be Christ, but I felt like an alien, and believed I had lived lives on many alien planets, could imagine them as easily as closing my eyes in the state of mind I was in, with drugs and the post traumatic effects of having my life go from quite obscurity, I thought, to being watched by all these people and having such dramatic effects on the world.   The operation was never mine, just the face.   They were telling people I was the leader, AND I WROTE LIKE I WAS IN A MOSTLY FICTIONAL MANNER, BECAUSE THERE WERE NONE OF THESE PEOPLE IN my physical life, though my television and a cable group became their connection to me, as many in the media revolted, as I had asked them to, against mighty people, just not exactly the ones I would have gone after.

YOU MUST REMEMBER I JOKED about a cult and all this, though actually cults had always fascinated me, like serial killers, not because I would involve myself, but because the mentality is so different than my own than I tried to glimpse it.   I was not told of the extent of this until I finally made big enough of a mistake, due to my ignorance, for my critics -- haters for the most part, though with the same hate I would have for someone who did what they thought I had --- to come after me and tell me what had happened, on a mission they had to DRAFT me into and  BRAINWASH me to get me to go along with at all, and even then  I sabotaged the attempt.   They chose someone who has spent his life avoiding being bought out, and I was willing to die for that value.   No one usually gets into the elite with attitude, but since they grabbed me, instead of recruited me, they did not know.

The cult does or does not deserve the term.  I do not know.... the strict usage of the term means a budding religion....   no value judgement.   Then all of these cults started cropping up and at least some were made by intelligence agents, like the Hari Krishna, which remain a right wing buyer of newspapers, the Washington post...  brainwashing people is too easy....  keeping that way requires a lot of reinforcement, which was taken away from me.   They stopped wanting me think I was Christ....  though that thought will never go away.... a sacred warmth fills my chest at the thought and the strong belief that I must do what is right because I respect and agree with my father, not because it is some commandment.

I do not think much of the present holy books.  All of them need revised, the old salt Christ talked about tossed out......    I have written sentences with the meaning of the last two many times, and with them everytime comes to mind a horrifying piece of the intelligence agencies doing in all this, one night when a confirmed cia murderer, told me, with the most bizarre, serial killer look of belief WE HAVE TO GET RID OF THE OLD SALT.   He thought I was on their side because I invited him over, but he was just my pot dealer, that was all... not a friend.  My connections let me know right away that I wanted to stay away from these guys.   I did not.  I studied them.  Later someone called me to in code report two hits they did, and something else, that he had watched a sci fi movie where these people who came out of living under ground, were pisseed....  NOW, this is so out of character for the man I thought I was dealing with that I realized he was a spy, just like that....   later, I realize he was reporting they had killed two types of religious followers, I believe....  and that some people had taken a short story I wrote literally and had lived under ground, thinking this was part of my plan.

My fiction, written before my conversion, was all taken as scripture, and revolutionary plans.... they were not at the time from anything more than a revolutionary thinking mind.  I regret what these jokes caused.... the acts of total faith that people did in their name inspires me.   I mourn their injuries and deaths, though that people out there are willing to give their lives in the name of God, which they did....  this was not my plan, which is why when I first heard of the deaths I was stunned, and said, THIS MUST BE GOD... because it sure as hell was not my intention, as a religious leader of any kind.... to do the things I had heard about.

I heard terrible things about the religious followers, though my sources were mostly their enemies, I suppose....  I said many things to the bugs in my apartment, figured  I was getting to actually talk to the man, so  I should... because I could.  What the fuck... and when the tv began mimicking me, and showing things that I knew were inspired by what I said, though in different ways, and showing me the results....  I thought the violence they showed me, like against hypocritical gay hating ministers and their people, and politicians and their followers, shown on Supernatural by Castiel, who wore the trench coat that used to be my trade mark, and appeared during operation bluebeam, which they were of courses using the television for.   Then they began to show me on the web.  I also saw on Supernatural many things, tiny things...  I was finally shown as Kevin, I guess, when they realized I had been sucked into this world knowing noting about it, declared a prophet out of the blue when I was really this whiz student...  he kept telling them I'M NOT GAY... and waking up going OH GOD.. which I was doing at the time.   They were very involved, though  I did not know there were sides back then, or which one they were on.  I usually learn more when  I write something that pisses people off rather than pleases them.

A couple years ago feeling weak after a surgery and like I would never be able to stop this genocide I decided that no matter who I had to work with, I had to stop this genocide.   I should not have written this, because I was not taking into account recent history, when I had to fight hard to get the Jews rights because the Nazi's did gain all this power.   I do not share anyone's philosophy except my own, however, what someone believes who is beside you throwing buckets of water on your burning house is irrelevant for the moment.   In the first months after the brainwashing, when I was still being watched and tens of millions were convinced Christ was back, I had no idea who was behind me, then the hints they were Nazi's came in, and I had helped them.... inadvertently.   I did not know the good guys from the bad guys in that war.   I told you lies and tried to scare you and thought I was getting my fifteen minutes of fame so I would shock the world.    I did not feel like I could get anything done.... I was made HOMELESS after being declared an angel?   That was when Bush was trying to punish me for something I did not know would happen if I wrote a poem....  saying his brother was disgraced for stealing the election....   had I known the power of my words I would have cut out my tongue.

I had all this power  I did not know about.  Very seldom did someone come up to me with a cryptic message.... and occasionally something I said something about happened, like saying I would like to see a jazz concert with old masters and young kids just starting out... they put on the show a few blocks from house, and when I walked in, a sax player suddenly broke into a bit of a Christmas song, because there was a santa association going on with me in the underground at the moment, unrelated to the religion.

The people who controlled the religions that started up around me, some went out with the best of intentions, others to pirate and be rebels for no reason at all, as far as I could tell....   a group with a well oiled killing machine, able to get read of all the bodies sent at them, and there were more than I care to begin to think about... down that path lies madness.  They kept the numbers from me for plausible denial and because I did not need to know, etc... but I have learned enough horrors not to be curious... cause that will drive the cat crazy.... or kill it.   From inside.   I have heard of so much death...

I worry the hoziers song take me to church, which became the number one song, because the media is coming at me with everything they have, being CIA and Irish... as was this band.  Instead of going ahead with attacks, they stunned me at the last second with the question with no intelligence... that was your mistake, and I do not know if I will every trust you again, or you I...  but I meant you no harm, and what you accused me of thru will Ferrell shows your utter depravity and cowardice, actually....   I do not know if it would be better for the working man if you won or lost, but they are my concern, of all colors.  I WILL NOT KILL FOR THE LIBERALS, OR THE CONSERVATIVES.  Murdering people to save the planet is the insanity, not fighting those who propagate war all the time and taking our country from them...

Mine will always be a revolutionary religion, as was Christ, who hung out with killers, Zealots, and was crucified between men marked ZEALOTS, not thieves, who had their hands cut off/   The romans at the time crucified mostly the revolutionaries, like the guy who told his followers to sell their cloaks and get swords.....  I think a few lines of Jesus remain IN THE BIBLE... I used to think they were clues I left myself over the years, to find the truth among all the bullshit, and that I would rewrite the bible....

I still think this is needed, but if most people are genocided, that will be the rapture...  the few hiding in holes left behind after the apocalypse will be given an immortal hell of trying to survive in a nuclear winter.  I wrote a story about the descendants of people left behind by Christ.   They waited in vain... though they believed, rightly so, one day they would get another chance...  they don't in the story, but that becomes their myth, and the protagonist is a monk.  

I AM not very familiar with trying to live my life by dictates in the bible.  I never took the book that seriously, to be honest.  I was reading very young and the secular novelists effected me strongly, with their arguments against the bible.  I believed in God, but I was not worried about being judged.  I was not a criminal or anything.    I had behaviors a little Christian morality would have helped me avoid that hurt to this day.... but my mother for one taught us we could not judge gay people, because she was pretty radical, a union leader who marched with all kinds of groups,  and this was ati Christian.  There was no drinking or smoking at the Bible Baptist Church, either, but dad and mom did both.

THE BELIEF PEOPLE HAVE IN THAT BOOK IS, IN PLACES, MISFOUNDED, OLD SALT... the bible should be slightly ahead of science, not behind.  If the world is older than six thousand years make the correction and move on.  People changed the bible all the time, why stop with a self serving King James?

I always come in here to apologize.  This entire blog, ripping open the wounds again, no matter how deep... has to be done, as a testament to the FREE WILL all must use, no matter who their leader seems to be.

I do not know if my place has dropped so far that the Nazi labelled, their latest greatest ploy, is going to work.  I think the so called left will say or do anything to discredit me at this point.   Not caring who I fight beside to stop you....  I drew, very early on when I was being watched closely, a cemetery with certain thoughts behind them, one was bringing all people together, no longer having hatred like between the Nazi's and the Jews and I drew their symbols on tombstones.  I should have written or said what this was about because it was mistaken....  I am not a Nazi and not have I ever been one.  But until I learn more about all groups, I will trust none, really....  I will protect any of them from being hurt, as I have tried here, where I helped a Jewish mayor take over, thinking that would stop abuse.


One of the most famous folk here Ophra is a Nazi leader and I had no fucking clue... I wrote something all pissed off one day that they took to be me going after Ohpra and she announced she was leaving town.   I heard the mayor then say, if you do not want her to leave, do not say bad things about her... well, I knew nothing about Oprha other than she had been nice to me when this all first started... so I said she is the trooper of the year... and they flashed her face on tv a number of times like she was happy.... then the show Glee, the black actress with Oprhas shape, came on showing me a Nazi mustache and telling me what Oprha was.... then  I was glad she was leaving, and went after her more, until she gave up her studio here in town.  Notice she got the last interview with the last departing first lady for a glimpse into how complex this world is, because the Obama's are considered Eagles, so the eagles in politics work with the Brown, which is what the Nazi's are called, and many are black....

I will never get used to people taking a few lines out of context from my entire life, and trying to damn me with them....  when a simple discussion would have avoided any animosity.  I say this to sarah silverman and others who underestimate my ignorance way too often.

they cut off my allies arms at the elbows

I saw this first on Bones, the second season, which is an FBI related show, so has FBI agents on premises  and going over, or suggesting, certain scripts.   They showed a character who was supposed to be me, who tricked one of the main characters into helping him in a revolution, by saying he had this big army that he did not have, etc...   I saw this and all kinds of hints showed me they were talking about me.   I was so pissed I stopped watching the show for awhile, then I caught it oddly enough a year later and they had the character back who had lost his arms at the elbows.  Later, I discovered the CIA had done this to people who were helping me in a peaceful movement...  that had to go violent to survive.  I did not know, and I saved the jobs of the CIA officers who did this, because I thought Bush was firing them because they were for me, thinking he was my enemy, when he was not.  I always had...  though I also forgive easily, and especially when this first started... I was in love with the world after awhile, it was stunning...   and I was not making decisions that I thought people would take as scripture.  I ALSO heard once after this...  at least you have your arms.

They did not expect me to become a threat again and were surprised.

When I realized this had actually happened, as well as a group of women attacking the white house, one of the underground groups that backed me, and had been slaughtered.  ANOTHER had his dreads ripped out by hand, his money taken, and shipped from LA to Chicago, which is what they call A BUFFALO JAIL in intelligence parlance, meaning you can wander around the city, but never leave.

I caused a world of trouble when I refused to along with being Christ....
Then horror after horror began to be shown me.   I was supposed to the Christ in operation bluebeam, and may have started to grow wings at five... all evidence points toward this being true, to the point the pope listened to me from the start, and everyone's acceptance of me as Christ came as this huge surprise.   I did not like my life being examined, though I was flattered... there was no way to stop it, like some huge celebration at first...  and maybe the scars over my shoulder blade, no where near the problem I have with my back, were tumors, as my mother, who was in on all this told me.

Then the violence, which led me perhaps to my place in the first place, I DO NOT KNOW...  grew into hideous proportions because my jokes were dark and bloody.  My poetry the passion that gets soldiers to slink off in the night to join others...  so many went out ready to fight, when I was too ill informed to lead.   I hear the song about confession leading to slaughter and know there must be some truth there if they made the song a number one hit, and they slammed religion, both obviously aimed at things I had told them to do....  I said confess if it was safe.   I trusted again.  I have to trust no one.   The violence around me is so abundant I feel like I am standing in a battle field surrounded by a circular wall of enemy corpses...  I wrote a poem about this, and it ended up happening.

I get away from the cult.  THE RELIGION.  The new SCRIPTURES that I brought to enlighten Christians and others to what I know.  And to offer what solace  I can.  I have my own beliefs, and I believe I am THE ONE you called Christ, though I am really the God of Many Masks.... I can do certain miracles and Chicago has witnessed them and fears me.   Once I terrified them unwittingly...  and I am sorry.   I had no idea what was going on, thought I was fighting an enemy I would mess with in any way possible, including lying to, and saying things that would draw out the pedophiles in my so called confessions.. which were drugged out ramblings of a being I do not even remember being...get brainwashed sometime.  Or maybe I was trying to get you to leave me alone, bury your idea I would be the leader of the madness I was seeing... I was treated like shit, so I treated the world like shit.   I had no idea how good I had it, that is for sure.

Later, for about a month, my enemies got control of parts of Chicago when my security abandoned me over a classic psy op program that the BLUE fell for.  Had you told me...  I could have represented all of you in the manner that you deserved.  In my ignorance, I just went along with you because you let me smoke weed and get away with it... I was proud to call the police my friends.  Had  I known people could see everything I was doing.    I would ALMOST allow the whole thing to happen again just to show what  I am really like... only almost.   You will have to take the words I write as my scripture, as only they have ever been... not my spoken words, where in the heat of the moment I might say anything, and things I would revise, or perhaps even regret ever speaking, but with writing I can get across what I really mean.    I spent too long in college writing essays/ they are much more effective than debates to me.

Funny, I used to scream at the tv, to scare them, the bugs I knew they had it because of my occasional direct interaction with people thru the tv.. it was the only way people could contact me, though I wanted to deny what they implied was true, etc...   I DID NOT KNOW who was all watching when I came ibnto my apartment blaming, Gays, or all things, for my not having children....   I came up with some insane conspiracy theory in my head....  and look at that time now as one of ignorance, and terror masked with rage.... my God, when I think of how I danced around my apartment after you told me of the killings, lost in memories of being another person, who lived long ago, and loved battle, and danced before it....  I talked about how we covered ourselves in blood, etc...  trying to freak out the enemies listening, and encourage those who liked me, who I also knew had access to intelligence on me.  I kept turning to mary ann or her to me and saying we just said that and now it is on tv, and ....  I could write a book about how tv was going along with operation bluebeam until  I sabotaged it, because they expected me to go along, but in the meantime, I was left ignorant of how they were using me.... only later did I realize they wanted a one world religion, but I kept insiting they not do that, because it would create a great seat of power, CHRIST on earth... people would be insane not to follow the one called the son of GOD ON EARTH..  This is how they hooked people on watching me.   I was very provocative I imagine on their webcams at times....

RAGE fills me at those who thought I wanted that intrusion into my life.   I THOUGHT I was getting across my words with writing, but they wanted me to be racist, to be on the white side in the race war... I said I WILL NOT FIGHT IN RACE WAR..IN FACT I WILL DO ALL IN MY POWER TO STOP IT.... The black and whites.... such open stereotypes for a human being they mean nothing to me.  Just more divide and conquer to make sure we do not discover the oligarchy is our true enemy as it is in all times of the working classes, the ones who fund both sides of the wars... start killing war profiteer like they did in olden times before they had tv and movies to trick people into thinking fighting for your life was fun, they hung those war profiteer for making money off of misery,



with the rage that WAS THE MONSTER come to life, the werewolf I keep hidden beneath my layers of civility, which run deep, and are the chains that hold the monster...  I have seen his chains break, he can do so when ever I get to the point he is needed, but only then is he powerful enough to take over my body, and order the unthinkable.  They dragged me into that war when I found someone begging me to save them from slavery, I ordered a war against the slave holders, and someone responded.  I think the Scots.  The guy was set free and thanked me, because this group was above the cops...   on the next show he did he talked about how the cops were no help.... God, the things the actors and actresses went thru.  When I was using Colbert and stewart they made them do three shows a day....  it was terrible for them, and when I found out I quit watching the show more than once a day.   I noticed there would be changes in each broadcaste, and it was weird.   At that point they were asking me who I was there to save... my short story about God saving the penguins and the pope was all a joke, until it became taken as the scripture of Jesus written in comedy form.   It was not.  It was all a joke.  I would not exclude any group from the gates of heaven.  In fact, like a man was put to death for saying once, there are a million worlds out there, with people just like us... and all people go to heaven.   They may pay a bit in hell first, but maybe not....  who can say?

I have had serious experiences with God... that make me feel there is something going on with my life, and the list is long, and gives my scientific mind no where to go except to believe there is a higher power working in my life.  I may write only myths about myself and not even know it, but I did not come to faith in the normal ways at all.

The tricky part is when your religion starts after being brainwashed.  I was agnostic and hated churches before the brainwashing.

They also said they took out Hitler at one point about me.  That was.... odd.  I have no idea what they were talking about...  in the hospital, during the three days I do not remember, while the CIA FILES say they were making me MORE MORAL... instead, they were surprised when the voice of Christ began to dominate my world, instead of their idea, of my making the entire world theirs.

My followers moved into the neighborhood where I lived.  Once I met a man there who recognized me and was all honored, said, I KNOW THIS BEACH IS SACRED AND ALL..  I was drawing and he asked me to work for his company, do a drawing.   I should have said yes, but I just down played my already mediocre artistic skills...   I met him again.  Both times he looked at me as if I were God, because in his mind I was.   I had no idea the ups and downs the religion was taking.  They were told that I wanted to be filmed, and them to watch...  They were told I was giving orders through the trinkets  I put out or whatever.  Took me for much more brutal than I am.  Johnny Pain was my stage name, but that is not me.  That was the peaceful me getting his frustrations out, and the fearful me, masking my fear with rage.  Because cornering me is going to get most of you killed if you come to this badgers hole.  Stupid fucks.

I do not know what happened, but at some point an order went out to kill the religious groups involved with me, which I have a scant few hints about, one, a friend who read my cia files who would only say they WERE VERY BAD PEOPLE,  Bob Dylan writing this song about seeing a slaughter in Detroit, and I guess a few other things, like being interrogated for mass murder, though they tried to tell me as little as possible, I sure as hell learned a lot more from being interrogated than I was ever told working in intelligence, when I discovered who the true enemies of the moment were.
I HAD NOTHING to do with this ...  I do not know what these people became.  In one show that was hinted to be like this, because they sent out video of me masterbating that caused chaos around the country, when everyone being protected by the blue was no longer... they turned on me, when my entire apartment was being filmed and that act had certainly been filmed so many times ...  you made one world tv, another my life... and I had no idea how they intersected.  I learned a lot, at the expense of many lives... and that seems to be the story of my existence.   The movie a josh rogan had a character masterbate, then take over a cannibal cult with gay slaves...  there was a lot of talk that is too top secret for me to go into about cannibalism, often inadvertent...  I fear many people who ate sausage in this country ...  soylent green...  a way of getting rid of all the bodies.    This is the government.   The people who were hired to do this are not at fault, and I forgive them and wish them no ill will again...  and pray our mutual respect may one day benefit us both.   I have a lot to make penance for but I will.   I did nothing I thought was wrong at the time.

I think of those who really know about this, what you did as acolytes, how you looked at me... how I must have been seen.  A famous guy, I find out.  An al capone/Charles manson  that the public would love to meet...   I ASKD THEM, about this fame I had that had NEVER effected my life in ways that I understood, though had caused havoc around the world.    I found out also I was hated.



MANY ATROCITIES and crimes had been done in my name....

THEY SAID I WOULD BE FAMOUS LIKE... THEN They showed me the rapist in france who is famous and invited to parties BECAUSE HE RAPED 26 WOMAN.... I do not want to be some sideshow, the guy who was involved in murder, though had an airtight alibi as my enemies once said I had.... the truth is the only defense I needed against your lies...  TO SAY THE LEAST,  the idea of being famous turned sour in my mouth.  I was not going to be displayed as what I am not.  I am not a murderer.  They were murdering people and I killed them to stop this.  That simple.   Later in a trance I wrote a poem about how ten to one would make up for the holy blood, and I did not even really know what the holy blood was, or who would be paying the price... though people did, died in great numbers.    I do not know who came up with this plan I ended up in the middle of, they tell me my grandfather, but it did not work.

I do not think.   I am tempted to take over the world.  It is not impossible.  I would do so in a way that would respect present leadership, buy off all the enemies I could, annihilate the rest.  Once I had the power to do this, but not the knowledge, and that WAS THE CHOSEN OF GOD, because he did not want those people in power, and when I found out about the genocides and racism I did not either.   I stood up willing to die for my beliefs in situations with guns pointed at me from every direction.   Almost no one can say they have been thru what I have.  I know this and it makes writing about it hard...  like the words coming out of my mouth sound crazy even to me, who knows they are true.

I would like to be a holy leader to some, who will have me, and only if they promise to remain themselves, and never try to become like me.  And do not take everything I say as meaningful to your life, or even correct.   I do not care how you dress, what your sexuality is, what your religion or non religion is, your race, country of origin, anything...   I care about whether you will make front and center building secret networks to subvert the oligarchy and redistribute wealth, then restore a real democracy to countries who want it, and whatever to those who do not.  Let people have a real vote, unimpeded by lies.  To do this requires a revolutionary court to try those in the usa who have so subverted democracy and the republic that they are traitors.   I am afraid the death penalty would have to be dissolved or the rivers would run red.  No need to kill them, we need them to point out the problems they have caused.  I actually believe in leaving them with luxury lives just to save blood from being spilled on both sides, as long as they contribute to an emergency fund, which I alone will be in charge of, which begins at the worst problems on earth, and works out....





+

I THANK GOD FOR THE HUMBLING

I always was humble inside, going from grandiose dreams of fame to failures in actual practice, until I had given up on anything good coming from writing.  Then Blogging comedy found me an instant audience and I loved it, could comment on all the newspapers I read, build this magazine of mine own.  The Elves Attic at blogspot is still around if you look, as is waking up jesus, from whence these events were described in the frantic voice of one going thru them.

I was chosen by powerful people to play a role, to stop a certain take over attempt by the Chinese left...  perhaps?   To usher in a Nazi era?   A kingdom?  A God Emperor?  Alien?  Nothing made sense at first at all.   I knew I was being told about a huge operation but I also began to believe I wanted nothing to do with them.  At first it was cool, though maddening.... having the voice of Jesus stuffed in my head left me with very diminished capacities.   I was thinking in terms of eternity, and you were trying to get me to lead a revolution.   They pretended I had accidentally took over the world and all this shit, or that is how it looked to me.   I would test the bounds of power, once, I am ashamed to say, once even dissing a dancing ally who sure as hell deserves nothing more than my thanks, as far as I know...  I would not have done these things had I not been running on rage alone, to keep the terror at bay.  The terror most of you out there felt every day came very late to me.   Today I was thinking, as I started this entry, about after they told me of some of the murders...

I said, MY INNOCENCE IS GONE, THAT IS FOR SURE...  I had no idea all of these things had happened in the world, that night they showed me some drunk teenagers, one said, YEA, I LOST MY INNOCENCE WHEN THE KILLERS CAME TO TOWN.    I had praised the band the killers, written a book which had child soldiers in it who killed some parents, took the kids...  criticizing the tactic...  though it became too effective in the states, where this army was like nothing anyone had seen before... and they lost control, whoever started it, the very wealthy,  when I would not go along... I am sure they just went on to the next plan, trying to forget about me, as I try to forget about certain matters too top secret to write about, and unforgettable as all the other horrors that flash before my thoughts.

I lay thinking for hours every day, feigning napping, thinking over every inch of what happened to me, and pondering where to go from here.  Can I believe what I have been told about the public perception of me, that I am a reknown mass murderer, who would be welcomed as the macabe display at parties...  I told them I did not want that kind of fame.

I do not know how to write to those who called themselves acolytes and not just cry...  seems the only honest way to communicate how I feel.  JESUS WEPT.  Shortest, most telling, verse in the bible.. forgotten by those who watched my transition into what I was.   I am not that anymore.  I am more than content to avoid conflict though I remain adamantly prepared to fight under certain condition, if lines are crossed, or loved ones threatened.  Even when my enemy is the most vile of them all, I will give them a way to allow their children to live, will not corner them...  though the sickest of the sick elitists, responsible for millions of starving children because of banking policies, will be tried.   And if they fight, then we will get mean.

I keep getting mistaken for a republican.  Were I to run for office it would be with a gun in hand and soldiers by my side...  and we would socialize banks the first day we took over.    I would want a democracy, though certain assets of the country are presently in private hands, and they have proven irresponsible to the planet.  Most areas,  I do not care what people do, but the rich will be taxed and they can leave if they want, or send plants over seas but they never better expect to sell anything in our us again.

Gratitude

I have great gratitude for people all across this planet for the fight for freedom they have waged, from the first man to demand the leader of the tribe get off his ass and let him live as he wants, to those who died in two thousand and seven.  And since.

I have great gratitude for people all across this planet for the fight for freedom they have waged, from the first man to demand the leader of the tribe get off his ass and let him live as he wants, to those who died in two thousand and seven.  And since.   In the shadows, those who appear where there seems to be no one.  Shadows come to life for the flash of a knife.  I did not mean to provoke violence.   Except in a revolutionary sense.

I was thrust into the leadership position by Operation Bluebeam, a man taken as a religious icon.  I did not feel that way.  I did not feel like a king.  I wrote like one though.  Electric voice of Christ flowing thru me, bringing certainty into the chaos.

I do not know if anything  I say will be taken correctly again.   I cannot let that stop me from writing, from continuing this mission.  Someone has to say, We better do something, get together and fight this, or this world is going to become a living hell for billions....

I guess they think a one world government led by them was the only way to save the planet.  Maybe it is, I am not sure.

I am very misunderstood by some, or simply on their enemies side with some.  Israel, my patience is long gone for that country.  An international Law Enforcement agency needs to take control of that situation, and restore justice.  I cannot help as a righteous person not to hate their leadership for using their country to colonialize occupied land, and remove the occupied by any means, and they are treacherous and cruel.  Trying to drive them out.  The madness of the lies that surround the situation and its bought acceptance on the international scene, with  the USA behind their back.

The situation with the Nazi AND the fucked up ways propaganda is used.  I will never stop criticizing injustice and  I will fight beside whoever is battling on that side, no matter what they call themselves.  I will not adjust my morality to work within any group except my own, though.  The one path I took all thru the intelligence work, follow what  God would want.   I surely did not always achieve it but it was the a

CONFESSIONS OF WAR CRIMES TOO CLASSIFIED FOR A COURT ROOM

I used to hear murderers say, OH, anybody in the right situation is a murderer.' I do not believe that, but I do believe we can be killers. The original commandment in the bible was though shall not murder. Killing is different. I was threatened with being sold into sexual slavery, getting messages like them finding kids with the same last name as mine, and chopping them into little pieces, to get messages thru the news. That the whole fuckin media and star system are in on this would blow peoples mind. I am now more surprised by people who know about the world of intelligence, the witting, who actually see behind the veil, than are ignorant of it... because I had no clue when they drafted me what that world was like. I became monstrous... to the point of once ... during a war that was using child soldiers none the less, that my soldiers were holy and if I caught them I would kill ten of their children for every one of mine that died.

 A lot of these kids had parents on one side or another mind you... and were totally innocent, probably did not even know other kids had been drafted into urban warfare at fourteen. Fuck, once, in this town snipers were picking off the Marines from innocent civilian houses, which was traumatic as hell for them, because their houses got all shot up. They would then tell the marines that they did not know who the sniper was. Well, a lot of civilians and marines were getting killed in this, so I had them go in, and the next family that denied knowing the sniper, I had them kill the family and mutilate the corpses.. even joked, bring me a necklace of ears, and on the news they reported on the civilian bodies found and how their ears had been cut off. The result was the civilians all turned in the snipers, so they were safe from retributions because the marines would drive all of them out at once. It worked. It saved a lot of lives... but living with that afterwards, thinking of those kids getting shot down without knowing why..... later, they burned down peoples houses for awhile if they said they did not know the sniper, when it all got out of hand. But it was a slippery slope killing, and sending people to die. There were times I fucking loved it to be honest. When I killed these shit heads who were taking slaves, tv stars, and forcing them into homosexual slavery, and they bought off the local cops so no one was doing anything... I put together a fucking army from the Scottish Rite and we took their asses out. There are a lot of people with licenses to kill in this world, and those of us who understand this is war look at it like that. No one like me would ever get near a court, I know way too much... sorry to go on man, we should message. I know way too much about this stuff, but in other ways little... it is a big puzzle, intelligence, and the families who really run things, etc... I am in on of the families who drafted me at 45 or I never would have had anything to do with it, except in my writing...

THE CHURCH OF THE NEW CHRIST

     A misnomer.  I do not consider myself the new Christ, I consider myself Scott.  I believe that I have been reincarnated in many forms on this planet, and others...  as well.  Too many to remember.  Eternity is timeless.  No one hurries.

I believe many things, and have preached of living the Golden Rule, learning from animals, and many other topics that seemed to take off.  I had no idea at the time I was part of Operation Bluebeam, being groomed as a tactic to create a one world religion, leading to a one world government.  A plan long in the making, without my knowledge, for which I had been groomed almost since birth.   Certainly they had this plan going when I was five, and they cut scars in my back and gave me a year of radiation, making many believe I started to grow wings.   I always dreamt of flying as a kid, then lost my ability to walk a bit...  came back.  Not due to the radiation or surgery...  so, what happened can be taken either way.

I know my story will be read by sceptics and believers and once believers now haters and to all of you I say there is a place in these words for your interest, as well.   I am not trying to convert anyone to anything, quite the opposite.  I do not like to be led, and I do not like to lead.  I live by a golden rule and that says I will treat others this way, not trying to lead them or follow them.  I follow TRUTH and I have seen some bloody ones.

I was offered a radio show and to have all of my short stories made into movies out of the blue, going from being an obscure blogger with a lot of readers, to some kind of star that Hollywood sat up and noticed over night.  They had been watching me and reading my stuff for a long time, much to my surprise, and working with various groups of operation mockingbird, to assure everything the American public believes is  lie, as much as is possible.   I was given the impression I was in charge and then I was not...  very long top secret story.


This blog is not about that.  This blog is about going where angels, and even near Gods, fear to go...  into our own past.  Especially mine, which is best kept at bay, or otherwise sunny days turn blood tinged, dripping drops of gleaming crimson into black poolings...   Many die in this story.  They are listed as missing or...  I will tell of them because they must not be forgotten.   They are the seeds of a revolution in ethics that I will not allow to be forgotten...  will nurture until they flower again, whether just on their graves, on in fields, or all across the world.

My life in Chicago was carefully controlled, cameras everywhere, discreet security, or overt, wherever I went.   Christ was back and some people were going crazy.   My comedy stories and a novel I wrote before realizing I was going to be taken as anything more than a writer with good politics, were being taken as gospel, and a road map to revolution.

They awaited my orders as I heard the reports on tv of the madness fomented around the world concerning me, how my every word was being parceled, and making myself understood was more important than anything had ever been in my life.

To see if it was true, I wrote COME TO ME on my blog, in the first couple days of knowing  I am what you would call the Christ.   All the roads into Chicago were reported on the news as backed up, and I told them to go home, that we would communicate on the computer, to keep the public order.  I was afraid for the first time of the power I had been given.

Unfortunately for all involved the power people thought I had was being manipulated from behind the curtain, and I was part of a plan, first designed by my grandfather, who died when I was four.  These things go way back and they put generations of planning into them.  Their ingenuity astounded me over and over.  As did the brilliance of some of those who felt they were following a new Christ, and those who used my name merely for profit.  Or prophet -- to gain a following.

When I hear of what people went thru because of something I write, that writing becomes dead to me, dangerous words written in the heat of the moment, the rage of being filmed all the time and mocked, in a torturous game I did not understand.

They set webcams up around my apartment and at least bugs in all the rooms, including cameras in my bathroom.  The sickness these people have, and their juvenile means of trying to humiliate me worked quite well.   I was sickened when people reacted to something  I did meant to make the spies leave me alone, that was placed in another context, due to people thinking my having no room for my clothes cabinet in my bedroom, and having to place it in the hall, meant I was becoming a male stripper for my webcam.   God, the humiliation alone kills me when I think of these things.  I talked to the bugs as an adversary...  whether they were friend or foe was a puzzle to me.


People marveled at my ignorance in the end, and








when a large group of cult members were killed and I was blamed for something I DID NOT EVEN KNOW ABOUT.  Knights they called themselves and knights they may be, I have no idea.  They kept the cults from me mostly by my own disbelief in the them... my idea that I must not ever forget the media had turned on me, and confused me, lied to me, etc..  I could believe nothing.  Now that all of this is a story I can tell, obviously there is a beginning, a middle, and an end.  Though the end is like those old horror stories, that always showed a question mark after THE END.   I know that my take on religion is why I am here, while others have thought I was here to fight, which I did at times.

I was involved in very bloody conflicts, ordered strikes on enemies and ....  the CIA and other intelligence organizations are very good at brain washing, and after offering me the radio job and to make all my short stories into movies, they put me on some kind of speed, I could not control this feeling of hyper energy, which is not like me at all.  I was too excited.   This lead to a seizure of some sort, just after I had the realization that the CIA was watching me.  They were, too.  Anyways, three days later, during which my wife was not allowed to visit, I had been classically brainwashed, showed all the signs, which you can look up on line.  The most baffling one I remember is that you do not think you are someone else, you just know you are not the person that you thought you were.  I looked around for different people I could be...  asked for a Mormon bible, after turning down a Catholic one, thinking if I was Christ, and the Mormons said he was coming to the states, they might have the scoop on this....  The catholics wanted to throw me out of the hospital that day, though when my wife and best friend came in and found me totally out of it, with all these notes written on my arm, saying the tv had been talking to me....  though I could remember nothing of the three days of brain washing afterwards.   I was taken to another hospital, where very bizarre things happened.

I had been in a pscyh hospital many years before when I drank, though that was decades ago...  and this was nothing like that had been.   They had people there, a hot black girl, trying to warn me cameras would be watching me everywhere.  They could not come out and talk about the mission, but they tried to tell me what they could.  It was very weird.  The head nurse, as I was leaving, said she was very honored to meet me.   I was sent home.  The world went nuts thinking the Christ was back...  and I watched it and had no idea what to do.  Others in the background, the secret societies and families and plain out criminals tried to manipulate the scene.

I loved everyone for a few days.  I really did.   Even said something nice about Tom Cruise after dissing him for years...  I was in touch with the love of God and man and this was a wonderful feeling I never wanted to lose... then I was treated like shit, pulled out a sword, and started fighting...

I thought they drew first blood by keeping me ignorant of what was happening around me, refusing me counsel, not quite realizing a revolution was happening as well.  Without the brainwashing scrambling my head I would have been a very effective leader of a revolution, and they knew this...  they wanted my powers on their side, my pedigree.

You who watched me and loved me or liked me or whatever... those who made excuses for my most terrible behavior...  who saw  heart behind this which you believed could love all...   and felt love... and was attracted by this love...  from there we disagreed too much on too many things you had made life and death, when my live and let live philosophy no longer worked, became kill or be killed or worse yet, imprisoned for a life of torture, as I was threatened with at one point.   I understand that one was against someone I am not...  someone  I would hate if told about. 4

I used to joke about having a cult, and one of my short stories was about a black elvis impersonator who accidently became the head of a cult, who he took in just to take care of them.   He did not like that they were a cult, and eventually told them they did not need a leader.   They ignored him and found another who got them to drink poisoned cool aide in the end.  He read about it many years later, after half forgotten them....   in the story, I mean.   A lot of my short stories came true in a way because they were taken as scripture.  No, Jesus can make a joke, too...  and the violence I should have explained was a comment on the stupid prevalence of violence in entertainment, never meant to be tried at home.  SAME with a lot of the things I SAID on that webcam.

The webcam became the way the cult watched me, and they were told to take cues from what I did, not what I said... because early on I had written I DO NOT EVEN NEED TO TALK TO MY ARMY because I did not have one at the time, I thought, though the people around me most certainly did.  That again was in the first few days, and I changed my mind over the years, wishing like hell they would talk to me, instead of give me hints.

To make this story even more Bizarre, I come from a family that is racist, evidently, in the group of families that truly run the USA and for what I know the world, and the city I live in, Chicago, is in the secret world, the Blacks Realm.  And, they are holding me hostage.  This was because of a race war I know nothing about, though for all I know it was raging at least seventy years ago, when my grandfather was alive, because blacks did not play so big into his plan, unless they were the cream of the Chicken, exceptional people who just happen to be black, the type that act white or amusingly black, etc...  the rest were to be done away with.   I knew none of this, just never left Chicago because I am in chronic pain and travel hurts too much for me to contemplate it.

I remember hearing many things early on referring to me that I did not understand and thus did not respond to... I heard a man died in the Denver courthouse, after going in all dressed, and saying  THE EMPORER WANTS COLORADO after I watched a movie, Jeremiah Johnson, and talked of how I had felt like that, a man alone fighting everything that came at him, his good life destroyed...   I would go back in time and say NO, I AM NOT AN EMPORER, that is not why I am here.   They learned this later, after God, the true architect of what happened, gathered people in Colorado.... they scared some, SOUTH PARK, a show that initially told my story, as operation BLUEBEAM required them to do.  The US was actually fighting off a foe that had defeated them, and  I was their front man, and did not know or  I would have acted entirely differently.  If I had known that a poem saying I forgave the president and his father, Bush, though thought his brother was disgraced -- I meant for stealing votes, and should not be re-elected, the other two never would be again.   I meant him no physical harm.  Never would I have thought that my words could harm people.

During all of this time, the people who followed me, and there were many, living mostly double lives...   you would never find out about them unless they tried to recruit you, and if you refused you would never be heard from again.   These are very deadly people who have to keep secrets to stay alive, cell after cell of them for various different groups...  it is amazing.  And terrifying.  And required.  I do not envy those who have endured this to try to fight in the forever war, for reasons basically of survival.  I did not create them, I am pretty sure, though I certainly added to their numbers.   I know of the cult from what I was told, and the tiny bit I experienced.

I was given coded messages about them that they thought I understood.  I wrote that we should take over a tv station and they laughed because they already had...   I was surprised as hell when I learned there were armies out fighting, taking my book about revolution as orders....  I should not have been, I was, and I did not take the proper action.   I should have ordered them to change the usa right then and there, unfortunately a race war got in the way.  The oligarchy planted a bomb that went off and scattered my army.   Race is not a good way to judge a human at all.  Pure myth to think so.

I was doing a comedic radio where I repeated a very stupid, unfunny joke, 'Kill yourself and others, just not in that order..."   An absurdity  I yelled one night at the end of one of our crazy, improve comedy shows, in the character I played, Johnny Pain.   From this small beginning, women jumped out of buildings as if I had given a commandment.   I remember the day I heard a woman had broken into a new skyscraper and went to the fortieth floor -- a number associated with me, forty days in the desert and forty years and...  regardless, she brought with her the tools to break through the window, and jumped.   By then I knew the local news station was broadcasting everything related to me, though never giving the context.   In horror I got out of my chair and said to Mary Ann, "Oh, God, that can't have anything to do with me, can it?"   I think I knew it had, as I knew other things Ii told myself were not true, were...  so I did not have to deal with them.    This statement brought out a entire group who were willing to give their lives to this cult.    I also remember, when the truth finally came out and I could communicate, from afar, over video link ups, with some of the acolytes, I said that I would never want them to kill themselves.....  and they had a woman come on and say HE WANTS US ALIVE.    I want death to go away personally, but some people can only be physically stopped.

In the beginning, I lived across a small park from Lake Michigan, an ideal scene in the summer.  A group of nuns had come there to view the Christ and I nodded at them and smiled.  Later I told them to let all the different groups visit me if they wanted, to allow people who could not afford it to me to come in, etc....   I was their Christ, at times, though at others I sure as hell felt like I was just someone who was human and cornered and had to fight my way out against ALMOST impossible odds...

I told them that Mary Ann was not anyone special and should not be worshipped.  The next day they showed me some plaque about her destroyed.  Then they showed me the church of the Christ, with black and white bricks, like the mason sign or for racial togetherness or what...  and I said I did not want to be worshipped.  I always told them to worship God alone.

They were filming me, the first weeks home from the hospital, and I was very ill, which they more than likely caused, and they kept calling me an angel for reasons  I do not know, showing a commercial of a fat guy dressed all rich laying in a pile of dough making angel wings.   I kept telling them that I was not an angel, hated the idea deep in my soul of being an angel, and just then I was trusting my gut, coming to grips with the idea that I was not Scott Ridgway... or so I thought.   Just not the Scott Ridgway who existed before the brainwashing, surely.

Later  I would be trying to defend gays and get people to leave them alone by saying gays are angels.  Another comment taken way too seriously by me.   This is why when I heard what really happened I realized I was not in control at all because I would never have led people to do these things, I kept waking up going  OH, GOD...  they made fun of this on Supernatural, with a character Keven, a Chinese exchange student, prophet, who knew nothin of the supernatural world.  He represented me on their show for a bit, as did various characters, because we worked closely together, though this was after the interrogation into my followers being mass murdered proved I was not only innocent, I had no idea about the real world....

I learned of the people following me by a commercial mocking them.  I had written and preached a lot about my dog teaching me more than any human.  And once came across a scrap of paper from a book, which  I guess mary ann planted in our apartment, that said WE ASKED A HOLY MAN HOW TO LIVE OUR LIVES AND HE SAID GET A DOG.  It was better written than this, sweet.  But in the commercial, they showed people dressed in Purple, for Royalty, Christ, holding up a dog and trying to get people to take the cable company that was selling my image, without my knowledge, and probably not at their own bequest.   I do not blame them for what is in the past...   The people on the commercial looked like zombies.   I was not hearing the good they had done if any or anything about them except that they existed.  At the time I was also learning about all these murders and thinking the war sounded like crime.   I basically blamed everyone for what they did, not realizing that in war, people are forgiven afterwards for went they did, et... and as  a follower of the belief that everyone is forgiven by God, I try to bring as much as it is in heaven let it be on earth to the planet as I can.


My other last contact with my acolytes came the day I saw a camera shot making fun of me that showed me getting dressed in a woman's housecoat which I was wearing because I was alone writing so what the fuck.... green it was.   Then it snapped... this sordid feeling that this is what was happening all this time, they thought I wanted them to watch some web show...  an acolyte was communicating with me directly at this point, from the side I had been on, which was winning no doubt about it, He was holding up a young girl of around three saying FUCK.  I had cursed in my work and wrote about how intelligent people seemed to curse more.   This show, and Saturday night, both came to mind when I wrote of this.  I had written in my blog that people should burn me, and do their worst, as I would.   I learned so much more from being criticized than I learned from my so called friends, and in the end the epiphany that I was not just being spied on by spies and the media, but more people than I cant think of without shriveling away into nothing.  I them wrote about modern family and snl critically, but it was displace anger.  The skits they did about me were not funny or religious or anything....  they were just showing things in my life in the worst light, I guess.  Later in the week a very powerful man would demand they all be killed, and protesters were outside NBC in mass.  They must have been my followers.   I explained then what I just did, and certainly did not want them hurt in any way.   I had hurt them enough...  I was snide and mean and....


EVERYONE SEEMED LIKE THE ENEMY AND THOSE WHO SEEMED LIKE MY FRIENDS WERE THE LAST PEOPLE IN THE WORLD I THOUGHT WOULD HELP ME... BECAUSE I WAS PART OF THEIR PLAN, THOUGH, NOT TO HELP ME AS A PERSON.

All of that TV business has settled down to a degree, though there are still tv shows that occasionally hint back at the media war that went on when I found out how they were portraying me, as a mass murder, cannibal, whatever.   I do not know if you saw the awards show where jimmy kimmel was sitting in a toilet, with a joker face, saying I WANT A NEW FACE and all these different women punched him until he had a new face, then told, GO OUT THERE AND KILL THEM/.   I became ub the end superman in their codes, leading to the superman movie where he dies.  Well their use of me as superman is over, because I oppose the oligarchy that is running this world.  REVOLUTION AND RELIGION are the same thing.   Always you are trying to bring the sanity of common sense, and the golden rule, to the kings and queens, no matter what the excessively wealthy are calling themselves these days.


I wrote once get a six pack and a semi and you have weapon in a revolution, or something to that effect, leading to our first battles, where we lost.  People always confuse winning a battle with me with winning the war.   A stupid mistake that has been made three times with me.    I cannot die until my mission is finished.  Like in the show  Departed, which has some elements of what happened to me.. the Jesus character is a cop, and I was at first and perhaps still am considered on the side of the cops, I do not know...  I certainly owe them and I also despise some things they did.  This is not about the past though, what I am writing, but the future.


Let me end this first passage by saying  I love you for loving me even if it was a season of knives for you, as a new Yorker poet once wrote.

I am sorry for the mistakes I made.   I apologize for offending you.  There is no excuse for some of my behavior, only redemption by not repeating such foolishness.   In this blog I will try to predominantly speak to you who followed me, to offer anything I can to help your healing, if that is possible, or at the very least give you my perspective.


I in the end lost the gays and Mexicans as allies because of them thinking I was a stripper and then telling one side I would not go along with certain things...  part of it was writing about snl and this other show just after the webcam was understood by me, and my God was I mad... I had been depressed for months after this... after the masturbation filming and everyone seeing that and it becoming a much bigger deal than I could have imagined,  I MEAND THEY WERE FILMING IN MY BATHROOM AND BEDROOM AND KITCHEN IT WAS NOT LIKE YOU HAD NOT SEEN THIS BEFORE BUT THIS TIME... YOU REACT.   I could not understand or trust any of you at all.  What happened after this was a blood bath, as a certain side turned against me, and began killing others.

The enemies I had made over the years all came to attack me then, but I had another surprise or two for them up my sleeve, and made a comeback with the help of a lot of people.   I would never have done what they accused me of, I am not an exhibition in the least, a man who has seldom ever done this around lovers except when needed...   filmed like they did.   I took it as more trying to break me, which actually makes me stronger, like steel.

When I heard of the killing and the general mayhem around me they told me YOKO ONO IS LONG GONE...  She had tried to welcome me, came to Wrigley field to do it, and a crowd gathered, and then a spy, planted in my life years before, convinced me not to.  I trusted him.   I no longer trust anyone except God, and I do not expect to understand why he does what he does.


In 07 when the brainwashing was fresh and the idea God existed new to me, let alone my having some connection in the mix, I had three visions, one of the world ending... and one of something that happened... another of seeing the face of God, not at all like a human... they were filming me.  Some may have thought this an act, but it was not.   A radio station I always played and had communicated me or commented on me various times, started playing the dream police...   I did not know if they thought that my dreams were being controlled or not.   I did not know what to do with the visions, nothing like that has ever happened before or since.   I did though do a lot of speculating, and some excuse making, that seemed to me the best vision I could come up with at the time, and now seem like imaginings given too much weight....  I was half mad, and kept asking to be taken to a cave, or get help in becoming this thing.   I was ignored because I had been used in politics as well as religion.  When I tried to retire into religion, I was called back into the fight, told they could not win without my help, so I rose to the occasion, roaring and deadly.























I want to love all of you for loving me.   When they kept asking me WHO I SHOULD FORGIVE, and naming horrible things like a woman who had killed her husband and child to join my army and things like this...  I lay on the couch, my eyes covered, high on pot and pain pills but there was not enough to stop that pain, hearing of these murders and saying FORGIVE THEM... telling myself this was the end of a war.  I think.  I felt so horrible about all the death my words had been involved in that I could not blame them, as I had at first when I had no context for their actions.

I have been through a lot in the last few years, obviously.... in 07 I was a stoner writer living in Chicago writing comedy, then...... 'things just got weird,' as my brother Dave once responded to my mother, when he came home very late, and very drunk.

Now you have seen almost everything ever told me about the cult.  There was also seth green hating me for what my allies did to Jews, and had Claymation Christ on a cross, as someone tried to jam it into a grave, and saying I AM GLAD YOU ARE IN PAIN.  They are located in Colorado, as well, and all these shows were working with me...  I somehow still thought me human and uncursed enough to maybe get a job writing Claymation for them...   what was done by others, whom  I became associated with, had done.    I really thought there would be an after intelligence... there is not.

For full disclosure, because everything in this blog is true, though  I leave out names, etc...  and my knowledge is limited, you  will find out here a bit of what I wish to convey to these people, to whom I owe so much.

I